In this age of Google, there is no excuse for asking a lesbian exactly how her biological children came into existence. Or a gay man. Can you imagine asking a heterosexual person the same question? “How did you conceive your kids? Were you in the missionary position?”
While there is nothing wrong with wondering about such topics if they are new to you, and while I personally have happily answered such questions repeatedly, I have to say such questions often leave me flustered due to their deeply personal nature. They usually come out of left field from someone I barely know. And I can’t help thinking, “Really? You live in this time and place and can’t even put forth a hypothesis or two as to how this could have happened?”
Before you ask any question that might be deeply personal, it’s a good idea to do a little research. 5 minutes on the Internet is all you really need to answer most of life’s questions. If you still want to ask the question, at least let it be known that you’ve looked into it yourself. This might be appreciated.
As for how children enter the lives of gays and lesbians, all it takes is a meeting between one sperm and one egg. How these entities are obtained, where and how the meeting occurred, when and how the children that spring from this meeting find their way into a same sex family can vary wildly.
Why should you take my advice? We can all benefit from coming across as a little smarter and more sensitive than we actually are.
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